June 2010

  By Helen Papadopoulos

Children today are very busy! When they’re not at school they are often involved in extra curricular activities such as training and competing in sport and the performing arts, after school care, tutoring and homework.

Where do they fit in rest and play amidst all of this? Whatever happened to letting kids be kids? Why has all this structure and activity been put into place?

Whatever happened to letting kids be kids?

These are the questions I find myself asking when yet again I have another child complaining to me about being too busy and not having enough time to themself. Since when were children `too busy?’ When I was a child, `too busy’ meant I couldn’t help around the house because I was riding my bike, roller-skating, skateboarding, playing with friends and reading novels. Not busy running around training to be a super kid.

CASE STUDY

A typical scenario of the `too busy’ child is a 10 year old (let’s call her Sky). Sky has been referred to counselling due to the breakdown in her parent’s marriage. Her parents are concerned as they had noticed a significant change in her mood and behaviour. 

In my work with Sky it was clear that she was trying to cope with the overwhelming emotions that children whose parents separate often experience - sadness, fear, anger, guilt and shame. Whilst working through all of this, Sky revealed she had something else she was trying to cope with - she felt overwhelmed with all her activities, and did not know how to tell her parents. Her schedule consisted of basketball practice, basketball games, tennis lessons, piano lessons and swimming. 

When asked `if you were granted 3 wishes by a genie what would you wish for?’, Sky responded `having my parents back together, being less busy and having more time for fun and relaxing’.

I always thought that having fun and relaxing was at its peak in childhood. Whose needs are we fulfilling by involving our children in so many activities?

Take the time to ask your children how they feel about their schedule?

Helen Papadopoulos is a psychologist who works with children, adolescents, adults and families.